Conundrum
by liketolaugh
Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr. Day 7: Chapter 220 Response.
1. Day 1: Favorite Character

**A/N: Hi, guys! I know this is a little shorter than usual, but it's more of a drabble, I guess. *shrug* Whatever. Day one of the week-long countdown!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr. Day 1: Favorite Character.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 1: Favorite Character - Allen Walker, friends

* * *

When he was little, Allen used to hide behind things to watch other children play.

He didn't often get the chance, but he when he did, would sit and watch them skip rope and run around and wrestle for hours at a time, wishing he could join them.

The one time he had, though, he'd gotten injuries and insults he wouldn't soon forget. He never tried again.

No matter what he'd said at the time, how bitter he'd been, Allen had always wanted friends. He'd wanted people to play with, to talk to, people who'd miss him if he died. It was a secret want, a guilty want. People like him, they didn't have friends. That was a privilege reserved for the wholesome and the wanted.

It was like that on the streets, and it was like that in the circus. And then there was Mana.

It was… a little different, with Mana. They travelled too much, so he still didn't have any friends. But he had Mana, and a father was almost like a friend.

Allen took care of Mana the best he could, but of course, it was never enough. And in the end, Mana died.

With Cross, it was a bit like with Mana, only he didn't have Mana, but he still had no friends. Cross was too rough and abrasive to be friends with, and Allen felt lonely again. He went back to watching other children.

Cross caught him doing it once. He'd snorted and pushed him out of his hiding place, and to Allen's surprise, he'd been invited to play. (Cross had given him double the usual amount of work that night, though, for being 'lazy'.)

They'd stayed for months in India, and Allen made his first friend. Narain.

Narain had been a good friend.

Then there was the Order, and _everything_ changed.

Lenalee was nice, and she yelled at him when he took risks and laughed with him and worked with him. She smiled at him and teased him and learned to guess when he was worried or scared.

Lavi was a lot like him, with a mask and a part to play, but Allen left Lavi's mask alone and Lavi left Allen's, and somehow it worked. Lavi teased, him, too, and wrestled with him, sparred. Pinned him down and tickled him once, too, which had been pretty weird.

Kanda was an asshole. But he was a _determined_ asshole, at least. And he liked Lenalee.

Miranda cared about everyone. Marie worried about him. Krory seemed to idolize him and Lavi. Timothy made everything more fun.

Allen didn't have to hide and watch anymore. He had friends.

And he'd never had friends before, so he'd do anything - anything at all - to keep them.

* * *

 **There we go. Not a lot to go on, but, hey. Allen. *waves vaguely* Thanks for reading, and please review!**


	2. Day 2: Science Department

**A/N: Day two! I actually wrote this one right off the bat, 'cause I got an idea for it pretty quick. This might be my favorite so far.**

 **Thank you to Teresa Shade, The-Allenfangirl, and Lena-luvs-cats for reviewing!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr. Day 1: Favorite Character.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 2: Science Division

* * *

Every exorcist has a file.

The Science Department was still flailing to work out what let someone synchronize, so every exorcist had a thick file devoted just to them. It contains everything there is to know about them, from their height and weight to their eating habits to their personalities and interpersonal abilities, and beyond.

Over time, this file grew to have many purposes. Notes for uniforms or training regimens were kept there. Memos between scientists concerning the exorcist, maybe gift ideas for an upcoming birthday (also noted) or a warning not to talk about something around them, were added into the file, as were notes of any potentially avoidable brushes with death.

After the exorcists' death, the file was kept for research purposes, but it also served as a memorial. The impersonal picture it started with was swapped for a lifelike one, and a back page was added for any memories or messages anyone wanted to share.

And the scientists, they _hated_ the exorcist files. Hated them.

They were geniuses, masters of their field, all of them. They were used to things making sense, to being able to create order out of chaos and magic out of science. But no matter what they tried, what they thought of, what they checked - they couldn't figure out what made an accommodator.

They checked physical attributes. Religious beliefs. Personal habits, intelligence levels, genetic markers. For God's sake, they checked to see whether they all ate a certain kind of food or liked a specific type of music.

The ones who came the closest were the psychological analysts, but even they couldn't contribute anything helpful, just a few notes here and there about traits that all exorcists seemed to share.

Reever sighed, pushed the file away, and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly.

Yes, he hated the exorcist files. With a sort of intense fire normally associated with Hell. (Passion, one of the few consistencies they'd found. Subject of passion, irregular. Degree, unreliable. Not a guaranteeing factor.)

"Have we checked interpersonal skills yet?" Johnny asked hopefully, taking off his glasses to rub at one eye.

"We don't need to," Reever replied dully. "Both Kanda _and_ Allen are exorcists. There's no connection." (Maintenance of emotional distance, found in both, disproven by General Tiedoll.)

Johnny lapsed into disappointment and went back to rifling through Allen Walker's file.

Out of all of the files, Allen's had the least information without being redacted. He'd been surprisingly resistant to divulging any of his personal history, so that entire section of his file was very nearly empty. Everything from before he was ten was a blank slate, except for a note of him working as a clown and another of being abandoned by his parents at a young age, as well as suspicions of early abuse. (They'd checked that, too. Family history. General Tiedoll and Noise Marie had both grown up with good parents, so that was out.)

Reever looked back down to the stack of files and put Noise Marie's away to pick up Miranda Lotto's. (Depressive tendencies, also checked. Refuted by Timothy Hearst and General Yeegar. Desire to help, contradicted in Suman Dark and Winters Zokalo.)

Still. Even with how much of a pain it was, how tedious and how futile, Reever would take days, weeks, months of doing this before resorting to the alternative.

Reever was never going to be one of the Order scientists who succumbed to desperation and resorted to human experimentation. He wasn't going to try to make an accommodator, to force that connection. (Morality, checked, discounted by General Zokalo.)

So until they found out what to look for, they'd make sturdier uniforms and better golems and training equipment and anything else they could possibly think of to keep their friends safe.

Because whatever it took to become an accommodator, they didn't have it, but they did have their intelligence, and they would damn well use it.

(Determination. Always present. Not a guaranteeing factor.)

* * *

 **Science Department! I always forget how fun they are. And how _hard_ they try. Well, thanks for reading, and please review!**


	3. Day 3: Clan of Noah

**A/N: Day three, Clan of Noah. This might not exactly be a good fill for it, but it IS a more creative look than I've made so far. (These are actually really good for spawning random insights/headcanons.)**

 **Thank you to karina001, RMXStudio, Lena-luvs-cats, InsanityOwl, and The-Allenfangirl for reviewing!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr. Day 1: Favorite Character.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 3: Clan of Noah

* * *

Mana Campbell was still with that boy.

After Neah's death, Mana had gone insane and wandered off. Road hadn't been too stable herself, so she'd let him, which had clearly been a mistake, because now he was with this… this.

This _human._ A little human boy. With an _Innocence._

How stupid was Mana, really?

Road blew out an annoyed breath. And he'd left Lero behind, too. She was with the umbrella now, and Lero seemed just as anxious as she was, watching as the Earl taught the human boy stupid clown tricks. Called him _Allen._

What a joke.

Neah's betrayal had made Mana more unstable than she'd thought. Road couldn't blame him, really - he'd taken out almost all of the Noah within just a few months. It had been _awful,_ terrifying, and infuriating, and she almost wished she could forget.

It had been a massacre.

But it would be alright. They'd all come back soon. Already, several had, and she had her eye on a few. Tyki Mikk and Sheryll Kamelot seemed likely candidates.

Once there were enough people to keep Mana busy, she'd bring him back.

Road tilted her head and kept watching. Mana seemed… more stable, with the child. A little more responsible, a little less confused.

And there was something about the boy. Her lips quirked upward slightly, just at the corners. He seemed interesting, she had to admit. But that _Innocence._

Still. Maybe when Mana came back, he could take the boy with him.

Or maybe not. Road's smirk widened. She'd bet the boy - Allen, was it? - would be even more interesting if he lost his precious father.

Well, she'd keep an eye on them.

* * *

 **So short. Anyway, yeah, that didn't occur to me before this, but... *shrug* Anyway. Thanks for reading, and please review!**


	4. Day 4: Exorcists

**A/N: This one... also turned out unexpectedly well, given how off-the-bat I wrote it. (I came up with the basic premise on the 9th, but didn't write it until last night.) But again. The exorcists' interactions with the Science Department. Maybe I should do a thing...**

 **Thank you to waterlit, karina001, Word eclipse, RMXStudio, and guest for reviewing!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr. Day 1: Favorite Character.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 4: Exorcists

* * *

Komui hadn't expected this.

He'd expected a lot of things when he'd joined the Order, not least of which was the ever-present worry that his precious sister had died long before he'd gotten there. He'd expected to be worried about her all the time, and he'd expected all the death all around them, and he'd even expected the long, sleepless nights spent working and the desperation that drove that work.

But he hadn't expected to come to lead the European Branch of the Order. He hadn't expected to know every exorcist by name. He hadn't expected to begin to worry about _each and every one of them._

That didn't keep it from happening, though.

It didn't stop him from worrying about Lenalee, and how many things could happen while he wasn't watching her, worrying about how worried she'd be for her friends and wondering how far she'd go to save them. Wondering if she'd give up her own life, no, _knowing_ she would.

Didn't stop him from worrying about Kanda, who was too bitter and too angry and far, far too reckless with himself and his health, healing powers or no.

And then there was Allen, who didn't seem to care about his own life at _all,_ who was everyone's friend and who Komui secretly worried about almost as much as Lenalee, because he was as reckless as Kanda but without the healing powers. Who might be suicidal and was certainly depressed, though to what level Komui had no idea, and whose first priority was everyone and everything _except_ himself.

There was Miranda, who tried too hard to help sometimes, without a care to her own health. There was Marie, going in literally blind, and keeping an ear and a half on everyone else. Krory, also reckless, and so naive that it hurt. Timothy, who was painfully young, almost as young as Lenalee had been, and who learned too quickly what he'd gotten himself into.

Even the generals, Komui couldn't help but fret over. Cross didn't seem to care a bit about his own health. Nyne was defenseless when she sent Lau Jimin off to fight. Zokalo sometimes seemed to be actively trying to get himself killed. Tiedoll cared far, far too much.

And every single one of them stood defiantly, every day, against impossible odds, a single exorcist against tens, hundreds, thousands of akuma, against Noah with unimaginable powers, against humanity itself at times.

Someday, Komui knew that each of them would stop coming out on top, would fall to an absurdly strong akuma or a Noah with a grudge or even a bit of bad luck, and they wouldn't come home.

Someday, Komui would send Marie on a mission, and he wouldn't return. He would ask Allen to fight, and never see him again. He would ask General Tiedoll to check something out, and next see him as a pile of dust and an empty coat.

Someday, he'd hug his sister goodbye, and it would be the last time.

Komui had expected a lot of things when he joined the Order, but he hadn't expected how much he would start to _care._

He hadn't realized that it was impossible _not_ to care about them, the exorcists. But it was. It really was.

* * *

 **And that. *decisive nod* After Protective!Kanda, Fretting!Komui is also one of my favorite things in DGM. *smile* Thanks for reading, and please review!**


	5. Day 5: BroTP

**A/N: I actually don't think I've seen anything like this before, but then again, I don't look at a lot of Lenalee-centric fanfiction. *smile* Regardless, I hope you like this take on it.**

 **Thank you to Resident of Wonderland, Word eclipse, Candy Crackpot, Yami-The Lord of Darkness, InsanityOwl, Lena-luvs-cats, Relena Duo, and The-Allenfangirl for reviewing!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 5: BroTP

* * *

"You _idiot."_

Lenalee blinked awake and turned her head to look beside her. Kanda was sitting on a chair, scowling at her crossly, fists clenched and more furious than Lenalee could ever remember seeing him. He was even shaking.

She looked away.

"I can't _fucking_ believe you." Kanda seemed perfectly content to rant at her, voice low and taut with rage. "I can't believe you would… Goddammit, Lenalee, _what the fuck were you thinking?"_

Lenalee tried to shift, but the restraints pulled at her wrists, and her eyes filled with tears. Her breath hitched dangerously. "I don't want to fight anymore!" she said, trying to sound defiant but just sounding terrified instead.

"So, what?" Yeah, Kanda was pissed. Normally the threat of tears got him to back down at least a little. "You decided you didn't want the akuma to kill you, so you'd _do the job yourself?"_

She'd tried. It hadn't worked, but she'd tried. Thrown herself off the cliff in front of the Order, but of course, there was no escape. Not in life. Not in death.

Her Innocence was no more ready to let her go than the CROW.

Kanda stood up abruptly. His face was flushed and twisted. "You're so fucking _stupid!_ What did you think was gonna happen, huh? There's no point, Lenalee, you of all people should fucking know that by now! None of us can escape, and this- This!" He pointed at the bed, at her restraints and the tears in her eyes. "Is what happens when you _try!"_

 _None of us._

Lenalee looked up at him again. His hand was shaking. His eyes were wild; there was more than just rage in them, there was _fear._ Kanda was scared.

Of course. Kanda could no more get out than she could, and he couldn't even kill himself to get away. He was trapped here, too, and he wasn't much older than she was. Eleven years old.

And she was one of his only friends.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Her voice cracked miserably. "I'm sorry, Kanda."

"Shut up!" he snarled at her, a nigh-unnoticeable tremor in his voice. "Shut the _fuck_ up!"

Lenalee went quiet, but she didn't take her eyes off Kanda's. After a few moments, he whirled around to face away from her, head dropped, fists still clenched, breathing heavily.

"Don't do that again," he managed, once a long, heavy moment had passed.

"I won't," she whispered, but she didn't sound as sure of herself as she'd have liked.

He huffed, far from oblivious to this, and stormed out, the door swinging shut behind him. Lenalee watched, and then she turned her head away, and let the tears fall.

* * *

 **The aforementioned protective!Kanda... sort of. *rueful smile* I haven't seen anyone talk about how Kanda took her being tied down... of course, I don't think there was any actual confirmation that it was a suicide attempt that led to that, but it makes sense. *frown* Because, you know, Lenalee's backstory, like most of DGM, wasn't angsty enough already. *sigh* Well, thanks for reading, and please review!**


	6. Day 6: OTP

**A/N: Hm. Honestly, this one was a little difficult, if only because the only romance I've ever written was mostly little-kid stuff for Kuroshitsuji and implied for Ouran, and then there's the fact that my only real pairing in DGM is Miranda/Marie (which is, admittedly, adorable). The universe just doesn't lend itself to pairings. Too much angst and death. *amused***

 **Thank you to Word eclipse, The-Allenfangirl, Relena Duo, InsanityOwl, karina001, Lena-luvs-cats, and guest for reviewing!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 5: OTP

* * *

Miranda was staying up again.

Marie sighed and entered the infirmary, closing the door behind him so softly that even he could barely hear it, and then crossed the room to sit in a chair beside Miranda, who didn't move.

"They'll be okay," he said quietly, not even bothering to ask what was wrong. He reached and took one of her hands gently, feeling it tremble in his.

Allen and Lavi had been out on a mission with Chaoji. It wasn't the best of ideas, Marie would later admit, because Lavi still hadn't forgiven Chaoji for his transgressions against Allen, and Chaoji still didn't trust Allen, and Allen was still uncomfortable around Chaoji because of that.

Really, it had been doomed from the start.

They'd come back badly injured, and Chaoji was noticeably shaken, carrying them back as quickly as he could manage, and Miranda had frozen their time as soon as she'd seen them so he could bring them to the infirmary without doing further harm. He was back in his room now, probably trying and failing to sleep.

Miranda, on the other hand, was here, holding vigil over her fallen friends, as she tended to do.

Miranda worried too much. Marie knew that, and he loved it about her, but she needed to take better care of herself, and making sure she did that would always be his first priority.

"B-but what if they get worse?" Miranda fretted quietly, mindful of her volume. He felt her lean her head against his shoulder and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her a little closer. This close, he could feel her breath hitch. "W-what if Allen has a nightmare and reopens his wounds, o-or Lavi rolls over and falls on the ground and hurts himself more, or what if-"

"Sh," Marie murmured, making her stop talking abruptly. "If any of those things happen, Head Nurse will know." He rubbed her shoulder gently, up and down, feeling the curve of her arm and the soft slide of her clothes. "Allen and Lavi have done their job, Miranda, and you've done yours. Now trust Head Nurse to do hers."

"But-"

"Sh," Marie repeated. "They'll be okay."

Miranda exhaled, a long, shuddering breath, and after a moment, sat up. Marie released her, feeling the expanse of her back slide past his fingertips, her heartbeat slowing down as her fear eased. "Okay, Noise," she said at last, soft and still anxious.

"Okay," Marie agreed, smiling softly. He stood up. "Now let's get you to bed. We need you in good health too, Miranda. Don't forget."

He could almost hear Miranda's smile. He wondered what it looked like.

"I won't."

* * *

 **Okay, guys, this looks to be the last chapter before the last one, which is a reaction to the new chapter. So don't read the next chapter until you've read the DGM update! Until then, thanks for reading, and please review!**


	7. Day 7: Chapter 220 Response

**A/N: FIRST: IF YOU HAVE NOT READ CHAPTER 220, GO DO SO BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER. That is all.**

 **Thank you to Resident of Wonderland, Candy Crackpot, The-Allenfangirl, karina001, RMXStudio, Lena-luvs-cats, and InsanityOwl for reviewing!**

 **Title: Conundrum**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Angst**

 **Warnings: None**

 **Summary: For the 220th night countdown run by lenaleelee17 on Tumblr.**

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.**

* * *

Day 7: Chapter 220

* * *

Neah slept for a long time. A very long time.

And when he slept, he dreamed.

Sometimes he dreamed of the good times. He dreamed of flowers in a field and games of tag, he dreamed of a mother named Katerina and two brothers named Neah and Mana, playing the day away. He dreamed of the sun and the wind and the river.

Other times, he had nightmares, dreams of violence. Of the Noah falling to his sword. Of himself and Mana screaming obscenities at each other, threats, oaths. He dreamed of teeth and blood and pain.

He dreamed, and Mana split into two.

One half of Mana was the man as he'd been at the end of Neah's last life, as the Earl. He was mad with power, and driven insane by purpose and separation. He was volatile, unpredictable, and he cared, sometimes, for nothing. Nothing but the death he sought to sow.

Neah hated that man. He would do anything, anything at all, to tear that man down, to tear him to pieces and take his place and do _better._ He would _destroy_ that man if it was the _last thing he ever did,_ devour him as he had been devoured, and he cared nothing for anything that might stand in his way.

The other half of Mana was the Mana of their childhood. The one who was sickly but kind, who cared for everyone and worried and was polite and understanding and comforting. The one who'd played with Neah through their childhood, laughed at him and with him, who had cried for Katerina and for Neah, and who hadn't, at first, wanted to take over as the Earl, because why on Earth would he want the humans to die, _why would he?_

Neah still loved the child Mana had been, and he knew that he would never really stop. But that boy no longer existed; he remembered that much, even in his dreams.

Neah dreamed, and then he woke up.

And he found that Mana had been split into two, and one half of him had named himself Allen. Allen Walker.

He laughed.

* * *

 **Yes, yes, this is short, sorry. *cringe* But really I couldn't make a whole lot out of the UTTER CHAOS THAT WAS THIS CHAPTER, holy shit. *keels over backwards* Next quarter won't come soon enough. Thanks for reading, and please review!**


End file.
